How I carve out time for myself without feeling guilty during the week day

Many of y’all already know me by now, so you should know that I rarely feel guilty. 😂 I operate very logically and from a place of love in my decisions in my life - so I stand behind them fully. I strongly believe that if momma/the parent(s) are not okay, the kids can feel it. It’s like their spidey senses go off. Raise your hand if you have experienced this! 🙋🏾‍♀️

My 3 year old would ask me - “Mommy are you crying? Do you feel sad?” And then she will begin to cuddle and coddle me the way I do to her when she feels sad. If I try to put on a strong face and say, “no”, she will rub my shoulder and say I should go watch my show to feel better. It always makes me chuckle in amazement. Maybe I just have an empathetic and emotionally intelligent kid; but I am sure that this is in your child(ren) as well.

I am really big on scheduling. I literally schedule EVERYTHING!

So what I did, and still do, is immediately after I pick her up from school we head to the gym. My gym has a robust kids club equipped with a children’s library, mini jungle gym, video games, all the Montessori and skill building toys, art & crafts - look, I want to stay in there when I go to the gym lol.

My routine:

Once I drop her off, I head to the elliptical for 30 minutes or 3 miles whichever comes first. I walk on a high incline and a speed of around 4/10. While I do this, I try to apply the advice from the stories I heard of Matthew Knowles having Destiny Child run on a treadmill and sing to help them strengthen their vocals - lol. (All hail Queen Bey) So while on the elliptical, I catch up with friends and talk to you Besties. This is also an outlet for me just as much as it is for you!

I love connecting with my friends, it reminds me that I have a community outside of parenthood that is just for me. We have mutual interest in each other’s well-being and growth. That is so necessary for me.

After about an hour and a half of exercising, I head to the steam room (not sauna) to do a deep stretch. I follow that by showering, then resting or napping for about 10-15 minutes, get dressed, and pick up my daughter from the kids club. We go home to eat dinner - alright alright we sometimes pick up dinner on the way home because mama is tired! Lol. We get home and I begin the bedtime routine. That takes a little under an hour.

This gym was a pivotal part of my community. A true resource that I felt was necessary. I didn’t always have friends & family around and available, so I made sure to have my safe space where I could decompress and be productive; that is what made it guilt-free for me. I knew my child was in a safe space, learning, strengthening her social skills; and I was able to decompress, look out for my health, write this blog :-) , nap, shower, steam, do my hair uninterrupted and unbothered. It was my 2 and half hours of Danielle Time! It allowed me to regain parts of myself that I had extended during the day to work, school drop off and pick up, clients, my partner, etc. With just these couple of hours, I was able to be recharged and refreshed.

I hope and pray that you find a guilt-free community, activity, space that you can incorporate.

Honorary mention, my gym also has Parent’s Night Out which is a BLESSING; especially when I started going and was a single person with a child. I need my breaks to grocery shop in peace, have dinner with a friend, take a nap, etc. So for that to be included a few times a month has been absolutely wonderful for my mental health.