Story Time from a Bestie: Dating as a single parent

Reflection from a Bestie - Growing up I never had motherly instincts. I saw women with their children and felt no desire to have any, nor could I imagine how it would feel to be pregnant. All I knew is that I couldn't wait to have a husband that I loved, so that I could give him kids. The focus was to always find the man of my dreams, get married, and then have children. However, I am currently a mother, who's never been married, with a toddler who doesn't know his father. Sometimes you'll have a plan for your life, but things happen and choices are to be made.

I was in a relationship with my son's father while I was pregnant and although he was okay with me having the child, I soon learned that he did not want to be bothered with the responsibility of raising one. He never supported me and having to do everything on my own was very trying. As a first time mother, I felt the father made it a terrible experience, which robbed me of fully enjoying my infant turned toddler. Being a single mother wasn't what I envisioned and I felt sad that my son isn't experiencing the love of both parents. There are online platforms and forums that degrade single mothers however, choosing not to abandon my child and raise him with as much love, attentiveness and guidance is one of the most thankless yet rewarding acts I'll ever do. Everyday that I look at my son I am in wonder of how beautiful he is. As sleep deprived as I have been, this journey has evolved me, taught me and stirred within me an understanding that I never knew I lacked.

Becoming a mother has only empowered me, and seeing how much my son needs me inspires me. Support, whether it be friends, family or a counselor is vital. Seeking help does not deplete your strength and you do not have to endure this alone. Before my son's father left us, I began therapy so that I wouldn't regret having my son, and I don't feel ashamed to admit that. Having an outlet to express oneself, free of judgment was and is still needed.

Motherhood is not a one size fits all; everyday won't be great and that's okay! I've learned to be kind to myself and that being a mother is just one of many hats that I wear. My son is seen and heard, I no longer regret having him, and he gets to experience life and a loving home.

Thank you so much for sharing London. I am so happy to have you as part of our community. You are worthy, loved, and blessed!